Reporting from the Trenches: Medications, Withdrawal & Hope

Recently the Wall Street Journal ran a featured article entitled “Generation Xanax: The Dark Side of America’s Wonder Drug.” I was aware of this article because several people texted me the link. Obviously, and understandably, they were excited about the coverage of an issue that had personally affected themselves or others they knew.

So what was my initial reaction to the WSJ and their coverage of the “dark side of medications”? I admit it was mixed.

Yes, I agree it is a big deal that the “mainstream” news is beginning to give a little coverage to the dangers of benzos/antidepressants, and specifically to the difficult withdrawal symptoms that many people face when trying to come off these drugs.

But I didn’t need the Wall Street Journal to alert me to the situation, because these issues are nothing new! I’ve been writing and making videos about them for years. This has been a way of living out the journalism degree I earned years ago, I guess—reporting about an issue in real time before it felt particularly safe or validated to do so!

Coverage from mainstream outlets is great, but these outlets are a little late to the party, so to speak.

I’ve lived the “Dark Side of Xanax” and the “Dark Side of Antidepressants” personally, and over the years I’ve also coached many people who have lived these experiences firsthand and who have worked to get back to The Brighter/Healthier Side of Life. It’s been an existence in the trenches, but one that has purpose.

I myself was on Paxil for over a dozen years and on Xanax for more than fourteen years, first taking the medications because of anxiety and panic I was experiencing in college. The dependence became enslaving for me and the side effects were numerous, eventually leading me down a very unhealthy path, one that screamed for reversal.

As of this year I’ve been totally free from Xanax for eleven years, and totally free from antidepressants for twelve years.

This was not an easy journey, but it was worth it! During my times of struggle and withdrawal, I suffered through a hundred different symptoms and had a million moments of fear, doubt, and breaking down.

But eventually the other moments began peeking through—the ones that brought me calm, clarity, beauty, excitement, confidence, and confirmation that my choice to get off the medications was the correct one—100 percent, no questions asked.

Bottom Line: In my opinion, there is no true & sustained bright side to these medications for many people. There is just a short-lived and often duplicitous veneer that eventually wears off when the meds show their true colors. The medications often prove to be charlatans, hiding their true nature and masking themselves as benevolent helpers, wellness hacks, or wonder drugs when they are anything but.  

Yes, they are drugs, but the wonder eventually comes in the form of a person wondering why they ever took them in the first place. Or wondering how they could ever be legal.

But I digress. The important thing for you, the reader of this post, to understand is that there is hope. There is hope to get off these medications, there is hope to endure and heal from withdrawal symptoms that might arise, there is hope to find natural strength, wellness, calm and systemic resilience after going through periods of depression, high anxiety, stress and so forth.

There is hope for freedom, hope for healing, hope for the brighter side.

If you are currently tapering one of these antidepressant or benzo medications, or if you are already off them and are scared or questioning your path—if you feel trapped in one of the million crazy moments—I encourage you to keep going. Those other moments will come. The moments of peace, strength, spiritual connection, self-realization, and confidence will come. Healing is real! It will come if you keep going.

The light always wins! God’s deep healing & light trump all darkness, including the darkness of these medications. Stay close to Him, take care of yourself, lean on trusted loved ones, and keep up the journey, one step at a time with faith and hope!

The journey can be difficult, but it is not impossible, and it is 100 percent worth it if you see it through!

I will continue to report on the reality of these medications, including the darkness. But my reporting will always include the light. It is real, it is greater.

God bless,

Michael